Was I a Mistress

Hindi ko alam pano sisimulan to na hindi maguguluhan ang mga readers.. Gusto ko to ishare para may mapaglabasan ng nararamdaman ko.. Bago ko
simulan ang kwento ito po muna ang sasabihin ko.. You are free to judge me. To call me names. Kahit ako sa sarili ko hindi ako proud sa
ginawa/nagawa ko una palang alam ko nang mali.

Alam ko nang bawal. Alam ko nang hindi tama. Pero kapag pala ikaw na mismo ang nasa sitwasyon ang mali pakiramdam mo tama. Ang bawal akala mo dapat. Sinabi ko na din dati sa sarili ko na manlalalaki siguro ako ng sampu hanggang bente pero hinding hindi ako magiging KABIT.. But i think i just did. Kasi kahit ilang beses ko sabihin na HINDI pero tingin ko OO NAGING KABIT YATA AKO.

So simulan ko na ang istorya namin kung pano kami nagsimula hanggang sa humantong na nga sa hindi tama. Please be patient sa pagbabasa kasi
mahaba haba po sya..I was in my last year in college when i first saw him (2012). Nakasabay ko sya sa jeep with his gf (asawa nya n ngaun).

Ako yun tipong naiinis kapag nakakakita ng couple na super PDA. That time na turn off ako kasi wagas kung magyakapan at magharutan sa harap ko. Since hindi ko naman sila pareho kilala kaya dinedma ko nlang. Kinabukasan wala ako klase kaya nasa bahay lang ako. lumabas ako sa terrace namin nagkataon may dumaan na naka mio napatapat sila sakin nakita ko sila ung couple na nasa jeep kahapon.

Tinawag ko ung ate ko tinuro ko ung mio sabi ko ‘nakita mo ba ung nakasakay dun? Nakasakayan ko yan kahapon tangna kala mo mga linta. As if naman mawawala ang isat isa.’Minsan nagpunta ako sa kaibigan ko n nagbabantay ng pwesto s palengke nakita ko n nman ung couple n un kilala pala ng bestfriend ko. Nakita ung babae buntis na sabi ko sa sarili ko ‘ ahh mag asawa n pala sila’ . My bestfriend told me their names pero since hnd nman ako interesado sa kanilang dalawa hindi ko pinansin ung sinabi sakin.
i have a friend nagkwento na may bf daw sya kaso balita nya may asawa na pero ang sabi ng lalake is hnd sila kasal. Ung wedding
photo daw nila is edited (the guy is a photographer). Syempre as a friend pinagsasabihan namin sya na tigilan na ang love story nila kasi what
if the guy’s really married? Wala habol ang kaibigan ko lalo pa may nangamyari na (yata) sa kanila.. Finally i met the guy .

You know who he was? The guy na nakasabay ko sa jeep. Since im a friend to the rescue , ung mga tanong ng kaibigan ko na ayaw nya tanungin sa lalake eh ako ang umusisa.. I ask him if he’s married he said no but eventually said yes pero hnd daw sila gaya ng ibang married couple ang relaayon daw nila ng asawa bya is paguho na and his wife knows his what he’s doing.

He said he loves my friend but he doesn’t want her to be in trouble kc parang ung kaibigan ko daw ang medyo pushy sa relasyon nila which is parang totoo kx knowing my friend she will do anything in the name of love but not to the point n magpapakagaga sya. Hnd nman nagtagal relasyon nila kc nga bawal and it’s obvious naman and they both knew that aside pa sya advice namin na maghiwalay nlang sila kc ung friend ko ang aggrabyado.

Naging kaibigan ko ung lalake because of that at kilala din sya ng eldest sibling ko kaya free sya nakakapunta sa bahay.. Everytime na magagawi
sya sa lugar namin hnd pwedeng hnd sya huminto sa bahay para mangumusta at bigyan ako ng chocolates from states. Hindi naman ako malisyosang tao
and chocolate is my weakness kaya tuwang tuwa ako kapag bnbgyan nya ako. Nagtrabaho sa malayo ang kapatid ko pero pumupunta parin ung guy sa
bahay para mangumusta minsan sinasama nya ako sa mga lakad nya like magpapaprint nya pictures.

He’s very open pagdating sa marriage life nya kaya alam ko ang estado nilang mag asawa . Naging taga kinig ako ng kwento nya kahit obvious sakin na wala ako care sa buhay mag asawa nila madalas lagi nya un napupuna. Pano ka nman magiging interesado eh wala nman ako mapapala dun.
New year’s eve he called me..

He was drunk. As usual nakinig n nman ako s kwento nya. Gang snasabi n nya na miss nya na ako that he wanted to see me. Kapag wala k nararamdaman sa lalake syempre iignore mo un to the point na maiinis kna so i ended the call. Kinabukasan he asked me if he called me last night and said yes. He asked me if he said something that was not right and i said no hanggang tinatawanan ko nlang sya kc hnd daw nya gano maalala sa sobrang lasing nya kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko ‘ mas maganda na kunwari wala ako alam sa sinabi nya’

Then he asked me na samahan sya magpaprint since same kami ng place na pupuntahan that time pumayag ako. I never knew that that was the day na
magbabago lahat. After magpaprint gumala kami uminom with his friend na taga samin lang din. He confessed. He said he loves me. I rejected him
knowing of course that he’s a married man with a kid. Sinabi ko na ayoko maging kabit kasi sa isip ko once that i say yes to him automatic kabit
na ako nun.

He said im not going to be his kabit because I’ll be his girlfriend. Still i said no. He kept on holding my hands kahit ayoko kasi
awkward na. He kept on hugging me. He kept on saying to his friend na ‘pre narinig mo nman hindi kami.’ And his friend just laughing while
saying ‘ bahala kayo. Wala akong alam jan.’ The atmosphere was getting awkward so i asked him to go home.
Feb. 15, 2016 he asked me again if i can go with him para magpaprint so i said yes. I never knew that day would make a big change.

After printing i thought uuwi n kami kasi sabi ko inaantok na ko which was true. He sais something sa tricycle driver. Umidlip ako saglit paggising ko i was in unfamiliar place. He said ‘tara’ . I was hesitated at first pero nakakahiya nman kay manong kung dun ako gagawa ng eksena.. I know the
difference between a hotel and a motel. He took me to the latter. We went inside.

I confronted him bakit dun nya ako dinala. Gusto nya daw ako masolo. I didn’t get nervous or what rather i feel irritated. After almost 2 hrs of fighting words with him you know what happened next. I told myself just today and it was all done so i gave in.

After what happened napaisip ako. Kabit na ba ako? Mahal nya ako pero hindi ko sya mahal. It’s just one time. And most of all there was never an
us. Ang paniniwala ko para maging kabit dapat mahal nyo isat isa. But ours was different. Feeling ko nga ako si anne curtis ng no other woman.

We never talked about what happened.. Everytime we see each other was like a normal day. Normal talks. Normal greetings. Pero nagkaroon kami ng
rules. I can’t be the one to initiate messages (which is in favor of me kasi wala nman ako balak na imessage sya unless important tlga); no
strings attached; and no falling in love (which he broke).

Nag start na ko umiwas sa kanya paunti unti un tipong hindi nya namamalayan. Hanggang sa mawalan n kami ng komunikasyon. Nag work ako halos mag
isang taon dn kami hnd nakakapag usap until one day he chat me asking for my number. My heart went wild upon reading his message ang pumasok sa
isip ko ‘ tangna ano n nman ba dahilan nito?’ I gave my number anyway. Everytime he asked me to go out i always reject him. Hanggang sa isang
beses pumayag ako he took to a resort.

He had some shots while I didn’t take anything. He took me again in a hotel pero wala nangyari coz i told him I can’t. I know how hard that was for him. Naiintindihan ko nman kung anong klaseng paghihirap pinagdadaanan ng mga lalake kaya saBi ko sa kanya ilabas nya na sa banyo hihintayin ko naman sya sinabihan nya pa ko ang sama ko daw. Simula nun medyo napalagay na ako na sumama ulit sknya kasi hindi nya ako pinilit kahit nahirapan sya. Kaso akala ko lang pala. Akala ko hindi n mauulit. Akala ko walang mangyayari ulit.After nun pinakiramdaman ko sarili ko. Mahal ko na ba tong taong to? Special?

Alam kong mali pero pag ikaw na pala ang nasa sitwasyon pakiramdam mo tama. Ang sama ng tingin ko dati sa mga taong pumapatol sa may asawa pero
nung ako na nasa sitwasyon na un ‘ ganun pala’ kahit ayaw mo ginugusto mo. Ung pwede pero hindi dapat. Ung bawal para sayo hindi bawal. Pero
alam ko ang sa amin ay hindi magtatagal dahil wala namang kami. Nung naranasan ko yun lumawak ung pang unawa ko sa mga taong nakikisabit. Hindi
lahat gustong makasira ng pamilya. Hindi lahat masama. Hindi lahat sumisige lang. Hindi lahat ang iniisip ay pansarili lang. May damdamin talaga
na hnd mo kayang pigilan kahit alam mong bawal.

Fortunately, except from his friend na taga dala ng pagkain ko sa bahay. Wala na yatang may alam ng tungkol sa namagitan samin even his wife. Im
thankful na natapos ang pahina naming dalawa na wala naging aberya.Sa ngayon im out from the philippines. He’s making his own name in photography. There were times na namimiss ko sya. We chat sometimes pero ramdam ko wala na ung feelings nya for me. Im happy for him kasi naka get over n sya sa aming dalawa. Ung feelings ko for him n muntik nang umusbong napigilan naman and im thankful for that.. We maybe part ways but in my heart i still care..

Now im inlove with someone. Don’t worry guys he’s very much single.

Thank you for reading..i wanted to elaborate more pero baka maging wattpad na to haha
Judge me. Criticize me. Sooner or later if you got stuck on my shoes you will realize how hard it was to get out. Pag nangyari sa inyo,

maiintindihan nyo.
Alenahj

Link: https://www.facebook.com/USTFiles/posts/1547847405260013